Hey pups, I’m back after a bit of a hiatus. Creative souls need time away from the written word, you know?
During my downtime, I got
maimed snipped. Dad didn’t trust any of the groomers in town, so he did it himself. Here I am before (above) and mid-process (below).
And after. What do you think? Mom says I look a bit like a shaved lion. I’m going to take that as a compliment. Dad insisted I keep my mullet, tuft of chest hair and samurai beard. I think Dad has a second calling as a hair stylist to the rich and furry.
Mom also says I will get to grow my hair back out after the summer when we’re not outside playing every day and she doesn’t have to wash me each time because I like to burrow down in the dirt like a groundhog. I sure looked cute with a ponytail, I will admit, but it’s nice to actually be able to see for a change.
My old boyfriend went away for four months to live with some kids in Point Reyes while his people circumnavigated the planet (big word, yes…I’ve been reading the Oxford dictionary in my downtime). Fickle I am—hey, I’m in my prime; these good looks don’t wait around for just anybody—so he was soon replaced by the teaching assistant for my class, Truman (scandalous, I know! my teacher…and he’s four times my age, too). At first, Tru played hard to get.
But he was powerless to these wiles.
Sadly, it’s been awhile since our last date, though word on the street is we get to play at Crissy Field soon on a chaperoned date (lame) with our parents. Teen Spirit class with Truman’s mom Ms. Dianne ended last month, and I miss all my classmates. But now I’m a high school graduate! Watch out, college; watch out, world.
Mom and Dad continue to teach me new tricks every day. I can stay for three minutes while they go into the next room. I can walk (off leash!) beside them on the streets of San Francisco. I can (almost) do polar bear when I’m on my bed and not that mean, slippery floor. Though Mom taught me how to high five in just three tries, and that’s definitely my new favorite thing ever.
I’ve been left behind a lot lately. First, the ‘rents went to Colorado without me, but that was cool because it meant I got to stay behind with my friends Alison and Scott, who came over to tend to my every need. But then they left me again—this time for 12 days—while they went to Hawaii to get tans. I did not appreciate this. Especially as all I got in return was this stupid necklace (which tasted like plastic, I will say).
Though they promise not to leave me on the next trip. The jury’s still out on if they’re telling the truth or not. Apparently, we’re heading to some national parks to see some really big dogs with horns. I’m skeptical.
I’ll let you know how it turns out…for now, I’m back to doing what I do best: napping.