Hey homedawgs—see what I did there?—it’s Ella the Maltese, reporting for duty. I know you’ve all been desperately curious about my whereabouts and happenings, but Mom will only let me check in once in a blue moon as she says this is a travel blog and no one gives a puppy’s left paw about the shenanigans of a five-month-old. I say, Tish Tosh, I know my loyal followers have been waiting with bated breath for my gallant return, and so I stole away to her laptop while she was sleeping and here I am!
Since we last talked, I’ve become quite the beach bum. Mom and I go out to Ocean Beach, just a quick drive from our apartment, once a week or so, so I can chase the foam bubbles and roll around in the fine black silt.
Which of course, inevitably means the dreaded B word (BATH) when I get home, but I always seem to forget that part when I’m out there getting my paws wet. But anywho…
Dad’s cousins came in from Hawaii, and the weather was supposed to be a balmy 75 degrees, so we packed up and headed north to Rodeo Beach.
Imagine our outrage when the thermometer barely hit 50…I nearly blew off the cliff! NOT cool, guys. Not cool.
There’s something I’ve been keeping from you. I might as well just come out and say it. You see, I’ve got a boyfriend. He looks something like this:
Isn’t he handsome?
I know what you’re thinking; I should be at least a year old before I even think of settling, but I know what I want and what I want is Goose the Bulldog.
In fact, it’s quite serious. He may be two years old, but there’s nothing wrong with an older man (just ask Mom). We’ve already settled into a pattern, too: We meet for coffee at Java Beach Cafe, share a bone and get admired by all passersby. (Don’t worry: Mom and Goose’s person Giulia are there to chaperone…much to my chagrin.)
Goose is even chivalrous as to block me from the strong gusts of wind off the Pacific. Dad saw this photo and immediately got out the shotgun. “Who is this dog? What are his intentions? I don’t even know his parents!” I know what it looks like, but I assure Goose is nothing but honorable…I was simply cold, and no one else was polite enough to do anything about it. Thank dog for nice boyfriends.
I have other friends, too—so many in fact that I can hardly keep them all straight. But I did have a sleepover with my best girlfriend Wiggles, who just lives upstairs and across the way, and her person Gina when Mom and Dad left me for Carmel.
Apparently Halloween came and went recently. I wouldn’t know it, as Mom and Dad left me with Moose while they gallivanted off to some strange land named Alabam-y—sense a theme? “get a puppy; go off and leave her to fend for herself,” sheesh!—except that they strapped this ridiculous hippo costume on my back and made me wear it around Pet Food Express one tragic Tuesday night in October.
I was less than pleased. Can’t you tell?
Well, actually, the real reason I was dressed up is that it was my last night of puppy school at DOGMA! I graduated—with honors!
I already miss my classmates, though, like Eggs the mini-dachsund…
…and the teacher’s pet (*snort*), our teaching assistant Royal the bearded collie.
And then there was Charlie, who always gave me a fright with his energy and big-ness; he’d run at me to play, and I’d tuck my tail between my legs and hide behind Dad’s Chucks. School’s out for the winter, but Mom’s actually the one missing it so badly that she says she might re-enroll me come spring. I maintain I’m too cool for school. I don’t need that bidness.
You may have heard San Francisco, my city, was all in an uproar last month during the World Series (whatever the H that is). Dad was all for the Giants to win the whole kit and kaboodle; not Mom, though, who can’t think of anything more boring than nine innings of baseball, let alone 162 games of it and then post-season play.
Dad dressed me up for the occasion while Mom was away. Mom claims I’m simply showing my Vols loyalty. Whatever, I’m Switzerland in this scenario.
(Dad demanded “wistful” in this shot; I delivered.)
Well, that’s about all I got for now. I have to keep some things to myself after all. Peace out.