Is it possible to have a number as your wedding theme? If so, mine has taken on the theme of “two”: Two receptions, two honeymoon destinations, and now two bachelorette parties. Which is made all the more ironic by the fact that I’m probably one of the most laid-back brides you ever did meet. (Which SVV might argue, only because he’s never known a true Bridezilla. Though his definition of me being “high maintenance” is wanting to go to a more than one cake tasting—sadly, I didn’t get my wish—though we signed the contract with the first baker we met. What can I say? I REALLY like cake.)

Still, if it were left up to me, I probably would have had zero bachelorette parties, not two. Luckily, my friends had other plans in mind.

Because my maid of honor, my sister, was busy sailing around the world, my best friend Liz (code name: Lemon, far left) took the reins and said we would be going somewhere fun for a weekend, no objections allowed. (She also is serving as our high priestess; the girl wears many hats, clearly.) As most of the people we were inviting were my college, childhood and New York friends, many of whom wouldn’t be making it West to the wedding itself, we settled on the South. As neither of us had been to New Orleans post-Katrina, that was our first choice. While it was logistically challenging—good Lord, flights to NOLA from, well, anywhere, are neither convenient or cheap—we got six people to commit and just like that had a fun-filled weekend underway.

As I mentioned, when it comes to going out, I’m a bit of a grandma. I like to be home in front of my computer in my pjs by 10, in a deep slumber by midnight. Bourbon Street does not allow for lame-os like me. Even though I’d taken an early morning cross-country flight(s) that got in at 6pm, I arrived at our hotel to find this spread awaiting me:

Lemon was in cahoots with my dear mom, who wanted to help fund our follies and outfit our bachelorette “suite” with alcohol and snacks galore. (I told you my mom was the best.)

I was also granted with a shot glass necklace and a list of tasks I would be made to accomplish over the course of the weekend. So, really, there was no time to lose. I had 25 pictures I had to take and little time to do it. So, to Bourbon Street we went!

(Yes, there were even referees in tow to call a foul if I dare try to cheat on the list.)

The list consisted of 25 photos I had to get before the weekend’s end. Such as…

The celebrity lookalike! (Tell me this isn’t an Ed Helms incarnate.) Crazy facial hair…

And…

I’m not really sure what role these guys fit, but by the end of the first night, we were taking pictures with pretty much everyone who sauntered down Bourbon Street, girl or boy, old or young, willing or not.

(Uh, that large-and-in-charge drink I seem to be rocking in every picture is really just water…rrrrright.)

On Saturday night, we were all so tired (and, truth be told, a little hungover) that none of us could stomach alcohol. We met up with another friend from NOLA, whose sister was also having her bachelorette party that night, and headed over to some trendy club where we had a table, bottle service and velvet rope access. Only, none of us were drinking so we headed back to the hotel “early” (being 2am, which is still pretty darn late for this grandma).

Considering my bachelorette weekend was a bit of a haul for my California friends, I didn’t invite any of them as I didn’t want to make them feel obligated. So, the week before my wedding (i.e. last week), I got an e-mail from dear Moose that said, in a nutshell, “We need to celebrate your last weekend as an unmarried woman. Do you have time for a non-bachelorette bachelorette night? If so, I will organize and you don’t have to worry about a thing.” As it turned out, SVV was having his bachelor party that Saturday and I was both free and in need of a girls’ night. (Plus, I NEVER get to exercise my endless closet of dresses thanks to the casualness of this city paired with the beyond horrible weather we’ve had these past six months—San Francisco, you have precisely FIVE days to get your act together, yo—so any occasion to dress up, I’m game.) And just like that, Bachelorette Party #2 was underway.

(See? Winter coat in MAY. And I was still freezing.)

Even with just a few short days’ notice, Moose managed to wrangle Holly, Jana, Autumn and two of Autumn’s friends for the occasion. Considering I usually have to make plans with many of these ladies three months in advance, I was pleased that they were all available and touched that some of them canceled their existing plans to come celebrate me.

We had a decadent dinner and a few fancy cocktails and toasted to me becoming Mrs. VV (truth be told, I’m keeping my name, but you get the gist). There was only one slight mishap when thoughtful Moose brought my very favorite gingerbread cupcakes from Miette, and the stingy restaurant tacked on a “cakeage fee” without prior warning ($4 a person! highway robbery), but we got so fired up, they quickly realized it behooved them to remove such charges. (Smart restaurant.)

Still, if my bachelorette parties are any indicator, this weekend is going to be epic. Strike that, the week of events officially began yesterday, and it already is.