Friendship and Wanderlust: Building Relations on the Road

[shareaholic app=”share_buttons” id=”20872686″]

The best part about being even marginally nomadic is that there’s a good chance (some of) your friends also possess that flaw maintain that same lifestyle of drifting. In San Francisco, I often received emails/Facebook messages/Tweets from friends out of the blue saying they were passing through my city. This meant I was constantly welcoming a steady stream of visitors, as well as that I just had to go out for happy hour more often than not, or eat at B-Star or drink the city’s finest cocktails at Bourbon & Branch. I mean, who am I to allow people I actually like to visit San Francisco and not show them a piece of what I so love(d) about it (which, inevitably, always involved food and libations)? It was a rough life, let me tell you.

I thought the move to Nashville would be different. It’s not nearly as transient a city. There’s no gateway airport. It’s not really a point on any major driving route. People don’t just “stop over” in Nashville while on their way to Vietnam. Or Paris. Or anywhere (other than, say, Lexington, Kentucky). Yet, I’ve been back all of two-and-a-half months and have already seen my share of friends passing through, from Dubai to Boston and many places in between.

Evan, who I met studying abroad in 2003, was the first to come stay, a happy stroke of luck that she was interviewing for a medical residency in Nashville while I just happened to be in town for the weekend (a rarity). Evan and I have lived in Scotland together and traveled through Ireland. She’s accompanied me on assignment in Canada. I’ve visited her in Red Wing, Minnesota and Seattle; she’s visited me in San Francisco and now Tennessee, as well. I’ve met her parents, she knows mine. I’ve been a part of her world and the various stages in her life, just as she’s been a part of mine. It’s about as nomadic as a friendship can get. On this particular reunion, we toured Nashville, raided the Jason Wu racks at Target, busted out our fat pants for Miss Mary Bobo’s Boarding House and watched countless movies one random Saturday. The best kind of friends are those with whom you can be perfectly content doing nothing at all.

This past weekend, one of my dear Semester at Sea friends, Myla, was the next to fall prey to her itchy feet, and decided to come down to Nashville from Indianapolis on a whim for the SEC women’s basketball tournament. We bonded the very first day on board the M/V Explorer over our love for the Lady Vols, and it turns out one of her childhood friends is none other than the great Briana Bass. My mom and I were already planning on attending the tourney—our blood runs orange when it comes to basketball, and there’s no one more beloved in my family than Pat Summitt—so we gladly accepted Myla’s invitation to attend the first game against Vanderbilt with her.

As if that weren’t enough, we actually got to be “player guests” of Briana’s—and sit with her darling parents! After watching the game from the third row off the ground, I officially can’t ever return to nosebleed seats. Sorry I’m not sorry.

(This was this past Friday so there was that little issue of, you know, SOME OF THE WORST TORNADOES IN HISTORY, which resulted in the SEC postponing the game a half an hour and keeping us all confined in Bridgestone Arena, but once you got over that little bit of fear—or full-on panic attack, as the case may have been for some (ahem, me)—it was all smooth sailing. Especially when we won.)

That night, one of my good friend’s little brothers, Dustin Lynch, made his debut at the Grand Ole Opry, so after a quick dinner at Tazza in Downtown Nashville, Mom, Myla and I headed out to the historic venue and watched a lot of really great country music and bluegrass (including Gloriana, Mel Tillis and Montgomery Gentry), as part of the country’s longest-running radio show (dating back to 1925!).

On Saturday, SVV was my date for the day and we headed back into Nashville—we’re still staying with my parents until we find a place in the city to buy, mind you—for the semi-final match-up of UT and USC. (We won. Obviously.) We had a quick lunch and mid-afternoon cocktail with Myla, who stuck around to see the Lady Vols take the whole conference the next day after beating up on LSU. (SEC champs once more…holla.) I would have liked to have been there, but instead, Georgia was on my mind.

My Semester at Sea-filled weekend was just beginning. On the way to Savannah, where I now am, I stopped over in Atlanta, an easy two-and-a-half-hour drive south from us. First, I got to have lunch at the Flying Biscuit with one of my absolute favorite people from the ship, Jordan. She drove out from Athens for the afternoon so we could get together, and nothing thrilled me more than catching up over French toast and omelets.

(Isn’t she a knock out?)

Then, it was off to Decatur to stay with another SAS pal, Tracey, and her pooch, Hannah. I assumed I would just be crashing on Tracey’s couch, but she has the most charming (and spacious) apartment I’ve ever seen, and I even had my own bedroom and bathroom. We gabbed for hours before our shipmates Julia and Margaret, who happen to live just three miles away, showed up to join the party.

If there’s anything weirder than seeing people you know from a dream world during a time that didn’t really exist, as feels the memory of SAS, in their native environments—in this case, living in a gorgeous, modern home as opposed to crammed like sardines into a ship cabin for four months—I’ve yet to encounter it. It’s funny to think that all of these (now former) colleagues of mine have lives outside of the M/V Explorer that consist of daily dilemmas beyond worrying what the pasta of the evening is going to be in the Garden Lounge or whether or not Mandy would keep the bar open late night.

In homage to our shared international backgrounds, we had dinner at Julia’s and Margaret’s favorite Ethiopian restaurant, Desta. Our time together was far too short—and if you’re one of my many hometown or college pals who live in the ATL who I didn’t tell I was coming, I’m sorry! next time! (maybe.)—and I am already plan on roping off the first weekend I can after my next stint at sea to see them again.

Making friends while living abroad or traveling can be a bittersweet ordeal: You have a sneaking suspicious they’re like-minded people with whom you would get along like a house on fire (case in point: see the photo above), but simultaneously acknowledge the friendship has an expiration date due to logistics. Still, it doesn’t always have to go that way—as is evidenced by the fact that I met Evan nearly a decade ago in some other place and time, and not a thing has changed in our friendship.

So far this Tennessee move is working out quite perfectly all around, and my trip to Atlanta is just the first of many Semester at Sea reunions I’m planning in coming months. Now, who’s coming to see me next so my own track record of incoming visitors doesn’t start to falter?

COMMENTS
  • March 7, 2012

    It’s very interesting when you as “world citizens” transition into having these kinds of friendships. The other day, we were thinking about the friends we have all over the world – thanks, mainly, to our travels. How cool is that!

    Now, to get to Tennessee!

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      The bourbon awaits you. As do Scott, Ella and I. You’re our most anticipated-can’t-wait-for-the-day-it-finally-happens Internet meeting, for sure!

  • March 7, 2012

    I wish I had something more insightful to say, but mostly this post just left me thinking: YAY FRIENDS! I love a good reunion story.

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      Best part of traveling so much: I may not be home enough to have a lot of really close local friends, but by God, I have them in every city across the map!

  • March 7, 2012

    Great post! I’ve had many people who have passed through visiting Toronto and have been able to further cement relationships because I’ve played tour guide. Actually, Johnny Jet was just in for Social Media Week, I messaged him saying it would be lovely to meet him. He invited me to the Ritz and I was able to make a professional contact through his fiance, whose name also happened to be Natalie! I had a 10 year reunion with someone I met in 1996 at a Scout Camp in Essex (don’t laugh!); we became pen pals and a decade later, I came to visit him in Dublin and re-met a few of the people at the camp. He put me up at his and I got to see another side of Dublin I wouldn’t have otherwise. We haven’t really talked for years but I know I can ring him up if he’s around and vice versa. Travel is an amazing thing that way, no?

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      Aww, I love Johnny. I’ve been wanting to meet Natalie, too, for quite some time. I’m happy you got to connect with them both! That’s a great story about Essex!

      • March 7, 2012

        He’s so nice! But I did end up talking to Natalie more! She’s fantastic. 🙂

  • March 7, 2012

    Awesome post. Oddly enough I started working on a post the other day about making friends through your travels. I really liked your post here. Reminds me a lot about travels and meeting friends as they pass through. One of the big reasons how now I’m like actually trying to get some furniture after my move so people can actually visit me. Trying to explain how I only have one chair (after a year…eek) to friends is a bit embarrassing! I’m usually the one who ends up doing the visiting perhaps given my travels. I recall a few years back how two of my college friends were both overseas for a year on different sides of the world (one in the UK, and one in Australia) and how I happened to have travel that caused me to be passing through both locations.

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      That’s what I’m most excited about owning a house (or just having a bigger place): more space for people to come stay! Having lived in San Francisco and NYC for the past seven years, I never had an apartment that was conducive to hosting (so I had to make due with being happy hour hostess instead!).

  • March 7, 2012

    Most of my best friends live in another city or country. It was hard when I moved to the US bc we had to do letters by mail and the international phone call were expensive. My best friends are still the same that I had 10 or even 20 years ago. Thanks to emails, Skype, Facebook is easier to stay in touch. Luckily we like to travel and make excuses to get together. I’m meeting 2 friends in las Vegas for Madonna’s concert. They will b flying from bogota and I will be flying from Tampa w my husband. We went to NYC for her last tour and I went to bogota to see an Argentinian rock band. I might only get to see my friends once a year but making the effort to write or call is what keeps a friendship alive. Also trying to be present in their lives like sending a card for birthdays or Christmas. It’s the little things that count. I don’t get many visitors in Tampa but I usually make the trip to Miami to see friends. I will be staying w 2 friends in bsas. We went to school together (since kindergarten). Im so used to my long distance friendships that I think is harder to take time from my day to day to see my local friends. I’m just probably getting old because all I want to do is stay home after work. If I ever take a road trip to Nashville I will let you know and maybe we can meet.

    • March 8, 2012
      Kristin

      You’re just a bit too far south, I think–there probably aren’t a whole lot of people “driving through” Tampa on their way to other places! Likewise, I’ll let you know if I find myself in your area (we usually vacation in the Panhandle and don’t make it that far south).

  • March 7, 2012

    I jumped a little when I saw “Lexington, KY” since that’s where I live and then again when I saw you were in Savannah, since I’m heading there in May for the “Tall Ships” deal and then again in June or July when we are renting a beach house for a family vacation on Tybee. Seems we have quite a bit in common! So nice that you keep in contact with your friends and spend time with them – I can’t imagine not having close friends and spending time with them. It’s a big part of my life!

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      Oooooh, Scott is dying to go to Tall Ships! I think it sounds pretty darn fun, too. I’m hoping to make it up your way sometime this year, if for nothing else to visit the Bulleit distillery–that’s our nightly libation of choice (shhh, don’t tell my hometown neighbors Jack (Daniel) and George (Dickel))!

  • March 7, 2012

    Making great friends from around the world is one of many good reasons to travel. Living in a small off the beaten path place like I do in the winter slows down the visiting but I do have a CouchSurfer to host this month who is bicycling across country for the second time. Not too much traveling for me this winter, but it’s coming. And the end of April I’ll be back at the Grand Canyon greeting people from all over.

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      See, I think you’re in the location (for part of the year at least) where you’re most likely to have friends “dropping in” at all times!

  • March 7, 2012

    I love planning a trip where I know I can see someone I know. I’ll make a several-hours detour to be able to go to lunch or dinner with an friend in their city. It makes traveling so much nicer when you have a “local” show you around for a bit, ya know?

    xox

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      I do know, given that our time in Salt Lake City was a blast for that very reason 😉

  • March 7, 2012

    I can definitely relate to this one! On the one hand, a big downside of the expat/travel lifestyle is that people are always leaving you, and you’re always leaving them. Which, to put it bluntly, sucks. But once you make enough friends who think suggestions like “let’s meet up in Panama because it’s halfway between us” don’t sound crazy (even if I haven’t managed to make that particular one work…yet), it definitely adds a bit of excitement to everyday life. I’m still hoping we managed to coordinate on a trip to SF (or elsewhere) sooner rather than later!

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      I think elsewhere is most likely! I actually don’t have any return trips to SF planned for 2012. But I’m still hoping to take you up on your pisco sour-in-Chile offer 😉

  • March 7, 2012

    A glance at my sad, sad bank account says not anytime soon. (Blame skiing.) But remember, we have family in Nashville, so I have no doubt we’ll make our way down there at some point!

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      I’m crossing my fingers real hard that happens before the close of 2012.

  • March 7, 2012

    I absolutely love my travel/expat friends! Some of my friends here in Thailand who I’ve known for about 6 months…. I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. Friendships move faster in this lifestyle. Whereas I might see my friends in NYC a few times a week at absolute max, I see my friends here a few times a DAY! And we just have a great starting point in our friendship which is we are all living a fairly unconventional life.

  • March 7, 2012

    Aw, I love this! At this moment, my friend travel blogger Melanie Waldman (whom I met on a press trip in Belize and who lives in L.A.) is in my home’s guest room — she’s on a road trip from CA to AZ/CO/WY/ID… So fun to hang w/ your like-minded peeps (in person, and not on Twitter or via email/phone).

    • March 7, 2012
      Kristin

      Hi to Melanie! She’s one of those “Internetz people I’d like to meet” (a list which you got crossed off of recently and moved to the “Internetz people I will ‘conveniently’ run into again soon” list instead…yes, it’s a thing).

  • March 8, 2012

    Because I started early in this business, meaning I was an Army brat the kindergardened in Panama, elementary school in three states, middle school in two and high school in two as well, and the fact that a lot of schools I went to were military I have friends all over the world. Since I traveled a lot on my own from 18, also spending time with my family living in Spain, and wandering all over Europe and parts of Asia until I met my equally roaming husband – there are just people every where. Now will all my online friends who I am starting to meet in real life I am running into even more. I have my little bucket list of online people that I want to meet IRL which means trips to OKC, Charlotte and yes Nashville. I adore Nashville and will think of an excuse besides Blissdom to get there – I just hope you are there when I get there! What I like about friendships with other nomads is that time is suspended and whether it has been 6 months or 6 years you can always pick back up where you left off!

    • March 9, 2012
      Kristin

      I don’t think I knew you lived in Panama! I’m going to be there for the first time in May on SAS (we sailed through the Canal in December but didn’t stop on land)–so excited! I’ll meet you in Charlotte (sis is moving there) then host you in Nashville once we buy a house…deal? =)

  • March 8, 2012

    Love this post! Making new friends is my favorite part of traveling… thank goodness for email and Facebook! Glad to hear that you’ve been able to spend time with your old pals.

    • March 9, 2012
      Kristin

      True dat. I doubt I would be able to keep up with so many of my jetsetting friends were it still the days of traditional pen pals!

  • March 9, 2012

    There’s a Desta Ethiopian spot about 5 minutes from my house! What are the odds?

    • March 9, 2012
      Kristin

      Seriously?!? I didn’t realize it was a chain! Have you been there? I hadn’t eaten Ethiopian food since I lived in Holland in 2005, and it was, simply put, divine!

      • March 9, 2012

        Yeah, weird. Maybe a chain or maybe just a common Ethiopian name and we’re clueless? There are four Ethiopian spots within five minutes of my apartment. My first Ethiopian ever was at Desta and it was amazing. Trying to convince the husband to go back – he’s not as adventurous. I’m like… Ethiopian… Indian…. Chinese… Vietnamese? And he’s all like…. Chilis?

        • March 9, 2012
          Kristin

          Hahahaha, luckily Scott grew up in San Francisco so he’s pretty open to any and all cuisine, but my parents are more in the camp with your husband! I have no idea what we had at Desta–my friends who are regulars asked the server to order for us–but it was positively delicious.

  • March 16, 2012

    Emily took the words right out of my mouth! What a fun getaway!!!

  • March 19, 2012

    I feel this same way about all the blogging friends I’ve made. Distance is so frustrating and I’ve met so many people who I love who live far away who I know could be the best of friends if they lived closer. Really though, it’s just a great excuse to travel and visit everyone.

    • March 20, 2012
      Kristin

      I know what you mean, but I like to look at the community I’ve developed via blogging as an I-have-a-place-to-stay-and-a-friendly-face-to-see-in-nearly-any-city-I-visit-in-the-world, which is really a great, great thing!

  • August 7, 2015

    I actually do believe in every one of the concepts you may have provided on your own write-up. These are genuine which enable it to surely operate. Nevertheless, the particular blogposts particularly rapid first off thue xe may ha giang. Could you please expand these people a little from next moment? Was looking for article.

Leave a Comment