Scene: We’re in the middle of Oudtshoorn trying to find our way to Cango, one of the ubiquitous ostrich farms, when a festival rendered many of the streets impassable. Enter: BlackBerry.
- Me: hello, I’m trying to reach your park and I saw a turn-off for the road but it was blocked.
- Girl on phone: yes, the road is closed.
- Me: OK, then can you tell me an alternative way to get there?
- Girl: you’ll just have to turn on another road.
- Me: right, I assumed as much, but which one? I’m on the main road, the N12 in the middle of town.
- Girl: the road to here is closed. You’re going to have to take another one.
- Me: I understand that. Can you just tell me the name of the alternate road I should turn on?
- Girl: there’s not a name.
- Me: not a name for the road, a main highway that goes from town to your ranch?
- Girl: no.
- Me: so I just have to randomly guess which road to turn down in a town I’ve never been to in my life and, what, engage in a game of trial and error?
- Girl: uh-huh.
- Me (sarcastically): right. Thanks for all the help.
- Girl (enthusiastic, for a change): you’re welcome. Bye-bye!
End Scene.
*Ironically, the street, which was a major highway, very much does have a number/name. Why she couldn’t simply tell me that is still beyond comprehension. Oh, Africa. Thankfully, my uncanny sense of direction—or perhaps my nose for ostrich funk—led us straight there, and I got to put my cowgirl skills to the test yet another time atop my avian friend. But that’s a story (and video) for another day.
Ah directions in Africa. My favorite was asking where something, say the nearest grocery store, was and being told “just go to the end of the road, go left and it’s just ‘down that way””. ‘Down that way’ or ‘just over there’ inevitably ended up being at least 20 minutes away, along a route with multiple options for turnoffs.
Katie’s right. Nobody knows what streets, roads, or highways are called here. It’s maddening, especially when you’re lost.
Ha! Oh, I remember these conversations all too well. Thanks for the laugh.
Reminds me of Asia as well…more like the Philippines or Vietnam.
Me: Which road should I take?
Local: Go there
Me: Where there?
Local: Over there! (points with their mouth and / or head)
Me: What’s the name of the road?
Local: Just turn left, then turn right. Over there.
Yikes!
People give directions like this all over the world. Do you know the name of the street 5 blocks from where you live?
I never got lost in ZA, but I did get sidetracked a few times. Thank goodness towns are well grided. I rather liked Oudtshoorn. Glad you found your way. Plus got to ride an ostrich which I found very fun, but haven’t posted it yet. Hope you also got to eat ostrich, yummy kabobs at the Ostrich Farm. Not mention the ostrich leather wallets and handbags. Sounds like you’re having fun. Did you make it to Cango Caves and crawl thru the Tunnel of Love?
T.I.A.
I would never survive in Africa. As I get lost even when roads are clearly marked and I have GPS.
Wow, it must take a seriously sophisticated traveler to spot these little nuances and tell us all about them. Tell me, O’ savviest traveler, why is this sooooooo specific to Africa? I’m sure if I looked hard enough (or probably not very hard at all,) I’d find the same type of unhelpful people if I visited your little hick town in Tennessee.
My advice: read a map or stop visiting foreign countries just so you have more to complain about.
STFU, considering you’ve a) obviously never been outside the Bay Area and b) are too chicken shit to leave a name, URL or even a valid e-mail address, I’ll gracefully ignore your “seasoned” advice. But, hey, thanks for stopping by!
At least that’s better than India:
Me: Is that the road?
Local: Shakes head back and forth which could indicate yes, no, or maybe
Me: The road to the X place? Is it that way?
Local: Shakes head back and forth which could indicate yes, no, or maybe
Me: So, you don’t quite know how to get there?
Local: No, I’m not sure but if you go that way I’m sure you’ll find something . . . .
Reminds me of trying to switch my cable service. Or the time the airline lost my luggage. Both worlds full of suck.
hahahhaa, I miss my home haha