It’s a wonder Beth Whitman and I didn’t cross paths sooner—we share a lot of the same acquaintances, run in parallel travel writer groups, have similar goals and passions. Then, right around the time I stumbled upon Beth, she also came across my blog and sent me a message seeing if I’d like a copy of her book. I had just decided to start a monthly travel book review segment beginning with, coincidentally, Beth’s neighbor in Seattle Thomas Kohnstamm, so it seemed like fate.
For two months, the book has been sitting on my desk beckoning to be read, but work duties and guidebook deadlines loomed. I finally had the chance to pour through Beth’s book, Wanderlust and Lipstick: The Essential Guide for Women Traveling Solo, ironically during a solo trip to Helsinki a couple weeks ago, and found it a delightful fusion of travelers’ tales, guidebook-like reviews and Beth’s own tips she’s picked up through her decades of globetrotting. More than anything, it hit home—hard. I’ve been predominantly flying solo for the past seven years, since I was just 19, and am often met with looks of astonishment, and sometimes even suspicion. B-b-b-but, how? Isn’t that dangerous? Why would you even want to go on vacation by yourself? Sure I’ve had the odd occurrence—that stowaway with the gun in my train cabin in Italy, for example; the time I found myself lost and alone in the gritty underbelly of Paris’ Moulin Rouge district past midnight, with no clue which direction was out—but 99 percent of the time, it’s all been peaches and cream.
Confession: I actually enjoy traveling by myself. Gasp! I know! Sure, I wish Scott could go on every trip with me—that would be ideal—but if he’s not free, as often he’s not (some people do have normal jobs that require them to be around 50 weeks out of the year, I’ve come to find), I’ve realized that my second best option for a travel companion is…me. I like being on my own time, getting to choose what I want to do, making all of the decisions myself. Call me selfish, but that’s just the way I roll. Beth hits the nail on the head by saying, “While it can be a relief to leave the travel planning to others…you often give up what you really want to do when (someone else) makes the decisions.” Bingo! I learned this early on when I took a trip to Ireland with three close pals, three close pals with strong personalities and varying travel styles. By the end of day one, we were already at each other’s throats (a hangover resulting in an all-nighter in Edinburgh after the MTV Europe Awards the previous evening paired with a 5am flight didn’t help matters any).
Beth also points out how limiting it is to travel alone, insofar as the people you meet on the road. It’s true: When thinking back to all of the travels Scott and I have shared, while they have all been amazing and memorable, we’ve never really met any locals. Sure, we met some cool dive couples in Honduras last fall, but no locals. In Romania…Portugal…Spain…it was always the same story: A lot of bonding time, but little cultural immersion. Yet when I went to Iceland by myself two years ago, I had the most amazing experiences couchsurfing with the locals and allowing them to cart me all over the country to sites I would have never been able to see otherwise. Some of my travel soulmates with whom I will always keep in touch, like a pair of charming Aussie designers I met in Prague four years ago, have come from shared hostel dormitories, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences for a penthouse suite at the Four Seasons.
There’s a lot of service-y advice in this book—the ever-burning question of hostels vs. hotels vs. pensions vs. B&Bs vs. home swaps—as well as tips on responsible travel, how to pack right, how to immerse yourself in the local customs and how to reacclimate post-trip. Beth also includes numerous websites on various topics, sites I’ve never even heard of but will no doubt prove useful in future travels.
I guess the only thing I really wish had been covered in Wanderlust and Lipstick that wasn’t is specific destination advice. Sure, this isn’t a guidebook per se and Beth couldn’t have written about every country on this massive planet—then her book would have been 1,258 pages instead of 258–but I really would have liked to hear places she recommends for a novice solo traveler, for example, or countries that are definitely off limits if you’re going at it by yourself (like, I don’t know, North Korea or spots in the Middle East). Still, all in all, a great resource for every woman—whether you’ve been traveling alone for years or are contemplating going at it for the first time.
Beth kindly took the time to stop by and answer some burning questions I had. Read what she has to say below, then head over to her site, Wanderluster, and scour her archives for all sorts of great travel candy.
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In the book, you say every woman has her own idea of where is “easy” to travel, but in your opinion, what’s a good spot for a first-time solo traveler to break in her pack and get her bearings?
I would suggest traveling to a country where her language is spoken as a good starting point. If she’s not interested in leaving the country, I recommend traveling to another region of her own country to visit friends/family and then set out from there on her own. These are little steps that can lead to far more adventurous trips.
You travel to Bhutan often. That’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to go, but a destination that’s very hard to reach for many reasons. How did your travels to Bhutan first begin? What sparked your interest in the country?
Actually, I was offered the opportunity to lead a trip there and OF COURSE I couldn’t turn that down. Free travel! I’m hooked now and am offering my own tours to both Bhutan and India. Bhutan is an amazing country that is still relatively untouched by the outside world. They just allowed TV into the country about 10 years ago and, as you can imagine, it’s having a deleterious effect on things but in the big scheme of travel, it’s still pretty much a virgin country.
You stress that travelers need to get out of their comfort zones. I feel like my first trip to Cuba was just that—a completely nerve-racking, yet character-building venture outside of my box. What’s an example of how you’ve exemplified this suggestion?
I hopped on a motorcycle and rode 7,000 miles over 9 weeks from Seattle to Panama. Solo. I really wanted to take the trip and to prove to myself that I could do it. I was pretty nervous setting out but the trip was magnificent. That’s probably the most out of my comfort zone I’ve ever been.
Any plans on a follow-up to Wanderlust and Lipstick?
Well, I do now have 3 books in the series including the 2nd edition of The Essential Guide for Women Traveling Solo, For Women Traveling to India and Traveling with Kids. I’m now working on an anthology of women’s adventure stories that is due out next year.
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Leave a comment below on anything—your own adventures traveling solo, whether you’d ever have the nerve to do so, what you had for dinner—by 5pm EST Friday, and I’ll pick one random commenter to win a copy of Beth’s book!
Thanks to the money crises, and the fact that my parents, as foreigners, don’t know much about the traditional graduation celebrations that American teens do, I had a rather lackluster graduation from high school this past May.
So, I made myself a promise.
This December, myself and my best friend, also a future photographer, are getting cheap flights to India, and staying there for two weeks. (:
Weird, I just read Beth’s Q&A on Frugal Traveler in my RSS! I just got back from a 1 year Round the World trip, and while I was traveling solo, I found it to be a great “vacation from my vacation” to do small group tours (I did GAP & Intrepid) in Turkey and Morocco and had a great time. It took the edge off (being blond and small), and I found those countries to be so much more fun with another person. (I was also alone in Istanbul for a week, and I got way more attention.)
Oh, and I would consider Western Europe, New Zealand, Australia, and Japan, “easy” countries.
I love traveling solo! I want to read this book!
I just had this amazing pesto pizza…so good.
I think going into any new experience with someone by your side is going to be entirely different than if you go alone. A safety net exists and can interfere whether you realize it or not. I’m struggling with the decision I made to bring my man friend with me when I travel through Eastern Europe because I’m afraid I am going to miss out on some mingling opportunities. I’m sure it will be ok, we will just have to make a conscious effort to branch out. It’s not a honeymoon so couchsurfing should work out just fine.
I have to say, traveling alone as never really occured to me as something that I’ve wanted to do. Sure, I’ve done some city exploring while my travel partner was busy with work things, but I’ve never gone on an entire trip alone. It’s something I didn’t know I wanted to do, but hearing you talk about it as piqued my interest. Stop piquing my interest!
I love the random mix of responses to your request for random comments!
I speak as a fellow solo travel enthusiast. Taking off on a trip on your own means you not only get to decide which pair of shoes to bring, you can decide which parts of your personality to pack. If you grew up in a town where everyone knows you as one person, you can highlight traits you developed as an adult. If you normally clam up during debates share your opinions with someone with an entirely different perspective. Traveling alone lets you decide who you want to be, and hopefully take some of what you find home as a souvenir.
I am such a proponent of solo travel! I think I actually used to be quite an indecisive person, and then I flew to Europe alone… being alone forces you to make decisions- it forces you to make every single decision. After traveling by myself, I became much more aware of the things (the little things that add up) that I wanted to do. I think I am actually a better travel partner now for having travelled alone first! Although, I definitely still do enjoy going on my own!
In 2007, I took my trusty Fuji Camera, a gargantuan backpack, a mini Ashworth luggage and flew to Europe in deep winter hoping to find some of life’s bite-sized epiphanies. I landed myself in Germany’s police station, nearly got nabbed in Paris, witnessed a demonstration in Paris, had nothing to eat for Christmas in Germany, had very bad toe cramps in Prague; but I stumbled upon streaks of inspiration and splashes of love in Leipzig, in Amersterdam; from graffitiis on stone walls, from the sidewalks, from crawling into solitude, from watching snowflakes on New Year’s Eve and counting every star.
Going solo gives you space to do that bit of blue sky thinking.
I have never really considered not travelling alone, if I want to go somewhere and no one else does, then I just suck it up and go on my own rather than missing out all together. As long as you’re sensible and respect the traditions and cultures around you, there aren’t that many places a girl can’t visit alone (although some are easier than others, that goes without saying!)
Plus as the other comments have pointed out, it gives you a bit of space to think things through and do whatever you want, rather than changing your plans to fit in with your fellow travellers.
I have been meaning to read Beth’s book for so long! It’s so funny you posted this review today because for 20SB I did the looking back carnival and the post from the past that I picked was the one that connected me with Beth for the first time, I referenced her book!
I don’t really travel solo. I have had great experiences with others that I suppose it just never occurred to me! I’m not sure I’m the solo-traveler type though, I get wigged out too easily in unfamiliar places.
Kristin, I just loved this post! I’m also a big time solo traveler, and agree on almost everything you and Beth say. I actually think that I have to be careful not to be too selfish and turn down some offers to travel with friends. I’m the best travel companion, at least to myself! I started to follow your website this month and I have to tell you it is great. Congratulations!
The only New Year’s resolution I’ve ever kept is one about travel. In 2000, I resolved to visit one new country every year. Just one. (Technically, I didn’t keep that resolution for 2008 because I didn’t visit a new country. But I did spend 2 weeks island hopping in Hawaii, so I’m relaxing the whole new country thing slide a bit.)
Nine years later, I have 16 stamps in my passport, but I’m a little disappointed. My passport just started to get that broken-in, worn look that says, “I’m a traveler!” This year I’ll have to renew it and start all over with a clean passport book.
Wow.. I have never really thought about traveling alone! I think maybe? My boyfriend likes traveling as well, so I think we’ll take most of our trips together. But, I have always really wanted to go to Africa, spend a few weeks, etc, and my boyfriend has NO. INTEREST. So maybe some day I’ll go to Africa alone.
I’m not one for traveling alone–I thought going to Pisa by myself for an afternoon was an adventure!–but I wish I was!
I don’t consider myself a solo traveller, but I did have one amazing solo trip. After my study abroad semester in St. Petersburg ended (in 1998) I found myself with about $1K of my budgeted money left over… so I changed my return plane ticket and headed out – Switzerland (Bern and Interlocken), Venice, Budapest, Prague, Krakow, Kaunas, Riga, and Talinn. Met some great people, saw a lot, was able to take a break when I wanted to and just spend the afternoon reading in the park. I’m happily married now and lucky to find someone who likes to travel with me. Together we are visiting Turkey for a week in October.
I’m contemplating a solo trip to Spain in the fall, although my bank account is holding me back much more than any fear of travelling alone. I’m also dying to take a solo trip somewhere on the Northern Atlantic coast, and wear cable knit sweaters everyday and walk on deserted beaches and read books in front of a roaring fireplace.
Great review, thanks. I’ll add it to my list of “to-reads.” I learned that it’s best to travel alone (before I met my husband) during a trip to Italy with two other girlfriends. It was a total disaster.
I am the worst about traveling alone. I so admire ladies who do it though. Maybe this book could inspire me!
I have only taken 1 solo trip – to NYC last year before Xmas to see all of the things my husband didn’t want to see. And I loved it!
I am definitely contemplating more solo trips.
I clicked over here immediately after reading about Beth in the New York Times this morning (was wondering if y’all knew one another)! I fully agree with you that if I can’t bring my husband (who has overcome his inner homebody on many occasions to travel with me) I like to travel alone. Something about being in the airport alone is empowering, knowing that you’re about to set off on an adventure by yourself. I took a trip to Paris last spring with my Mom, and as much as I love her I found her pulling many a “tourist” stunt that drove me a bit nuts and couldn’t help but think that if I were by myself I’d almost feel more at ease. If you can manage solo-stints of travel (making friends and having a good time), I feel like you can do anything. But maybe I’m biased!
I’ve done a lot of solo traveling and am always looking for tips. Would love to read the book!
Hey Kristin – I’m new to your website (found you through Holly) and have bookmarked you already. Love reading about your adventures and appreciate you sharing your life with the anonymous folk of the Interwebs! I quit my job last December and went on a nine-week solo backpacking adventure around SE Asia… my first big solo trip and definitely not my last (the blog I’ve linked to is one I wrote during my travels). I got a lot of “wow, you’re crazy” or “you must be so brave” comments from friends/family but now that I’ve done it I definitely agree with you that it’s not as impossible/scary as people think. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes (especially in cities — that’s my feeling anyway) but it’s incredible empowering and liberating and I keep telling all my friends to go do it.
In the interest of “random” commenting, I thought you might like to know that I just had a roast beef/brie sandwich and cup of homemade gazpacho for lunch.
I once spent a day and a half on my own in NYC when I went to visit my sister and she got stuck in Denver (at least i think it was Denver) and I have to say…I REALLY enjoyed it. getting up when I wanted to, eating where I wanted to, riding the subway alone – it was so liberating. but, after a while, it was BORING. It would be so much better to eat somewhere and have someone to share the meal with!
Two years ago, I stepped completely out of my comfort zone to study in Hungary for 3 weeks … and I figured that since I was already paying so much for airfare that I might as well spend a little more money and backpack around nearby countries for the week preceding and the week following the seminar. I had the time of my life ~ trekking all over Budapest, having a brief but sweet romance in and with Salzburg, celebrating my 22nd birthday in Vienna, reading Harry Potter #7 by Lake Balaton (sp?), sailing on the Danube with hostel friends, and chilling with my sister (who had flown over with her boyfriend) in Prague.
This summer, I’m taking shorter domestic trips to visit friends and attend a workshop … and these short ventures and reading your blog (traveling vicariously?) satisfy my appetite for travel … for now…
I’ve never travelled alone, but I have spent time alone while travelling. I love shopping, eating, seeing movies, exploring on my own. Actually, come to think of it, why the heck haven’t I ever vacationed by myself?! I’d love it!
i’d love to read it!
I spent a couple weeks traveling solo in Vietnam and Cambodia when I was studying abroad in Taiwan. Although my cyclo driver physically threatened me into giving him a bigger tip, a lecherous monk suggested in French that he accompany “out behind the temple”, an elephant blew dirt all over me and a blind person massaged so much Tiger Balm on my back that I cried, I still wouldn’t discount traveling solo. A big, strong man or a group of girlfriends would not have necessarily saved me from any of the situations mentioned above, not to mention that I now just look back and laugh.
Great interview!!! What I would like to know is…what was more nerve-wracking: flying Cubana Air OR going through customs in Mexico after being in Cuba with 30 cohibas??? Haha. What a trip!
Hope you’re having fun in FL. I’m waving to you from Miami right now. XO
I haven’t had the chance to travel by myself yet but its on my list for this fall if everything goes according to plan. Where would you recommend a first-time solo traveler should go for their first trip?
I flew to Indonesia by myself and met up with a friend there, but not before making a stopover in Malaysia. I talked with a girl at dinner I know I wouldn’t have talked to if I had been with friends.
I’ve never really traveled alone, but this makes me think I should. I usually don’t have the best times with friends because no one can agree and someone always gets their panties in a bunch.
But like Ali mentioned, I think I would get bored after awhile. But I think I’ll have to try it and find out!
I love to travel by myself for many of the reasons already mentioned, but there’s one more too–
It forces me to get out of my comfort zone and befriend other travelers or locals that I might not normally meet. Over the years, I befriended a Catholic priest in Malawi, two male high school French PE teachers in the Czech Republic, A Chinese university student in Rome, A Japanese film-maker in Thailand, and many others…here’s the best one though… while hitchhiking (yes, I know) in Namibia in 1995, I was given a ride by a woman working for a developmental agency there. I met that same woman again by chance in 1999 in Texas!
In a way, traveling alone makes you a little bit of a different person and more open to new opportunities.
I’ve been traveling alone in country for many years, also sometimes with friends. So right, I am good company too, and make good decisions for myself, just maybe not always for others. Getting ready to leave this continent for the first time in March 2010, so looking forward to follow my dream of traveling the world.
Checked out Beth’s site and very much enjoyed. Look forward to her book.
Have fun in FL.
I love traveling solo! I enjoy my own company, though would prefer to travel with really good friends (sometimes, anyway). I went a lot of places in New Zealand alone (a very safe place to do so) and go places alone fairly locally. I would love some tips, though!
I totally believe that, lest you have a like-minded traveling buddy with a similar style and similar goals/agenda in mind, traveling solo is the way to go! Anymore, it feels strange to travel WITH someone – to have the luxury of going to the bathroom in the airport without every piece of luggage strapped to my body. This book sounds great!
Hurrah! for women travelling solo. My only concern is…plane crash. If my plane went down, I wouldn’t have anyone to hold my hand as I burn to pieces. Seriously, I think I may have recently developed, not a fear of flying, but more like, flying anxiety. Nevertheless, whenever I come home intact, I always remember my solo trips as the best ones of the bunch (sorry hubby and daughter–you guys weigh me down sometimes, but i love you guys!). I’d have to buy Beth’s book now!
I’m a little behind in my RSS reader – but refuse to hit ‘mark all as read’ on yours!!
As I was reading about this book a bell went off in my head ‘this would be a great gift for your two cousins who just graduated from high school and you STILL can not figure out the prefect – ‘lifetime inspiring’ gift for them’
Then again I did just watch ‘Taken’ (I know it’s not a true story – but still) this weekend and I’m not too sure I want to encourage them to travel solo – but I would like to inspire them to see the world! Any other travel books you would recommend for fresh high school graduates to spark their interest
Thanks!!
I love traveling by myself as well! This past trip to Norway was with a friend. It was great and all (and there were things I wouldn’t have done had I been there solo – like a 35 mile hiking trip) but I thought on more than one occassion that I would have liked some me time too…