It always simultaneously baffles, amuses and disgusts me how someone can be so utterly impudent when hiding behind the anonymity of the World Wide Web. It’s like, “na na na boo boo, you can’t see me! Therefore, all those Emily Post manners my mother taught me from childbirth are being hurled out the window with yesterday’s macaroni!”
I’m lucky that I have so many regular commenters whom I have grown to love and adore, friendships that have been cultivated on this here blog. But then there’s the occasional lash (very rare, I might add; the majority of you couldn’t be nicer!) that makes me stop and say, really??? This is how you choose to spend your spare time? Not finding a cure for AIDS? Protesting against Prop 8? Heck, even helping further the very charitable cause of resconstructive surgery in developing countries? But trying to take low blows at me, on my registered domain, for all to openly observe what a cotton headed ninny muggins you really are? Too bad for you, I’ve got a thick skin.
Take, for example, the comment I received yesterday. Not even on a post, but on my About page at that:
“You have got to be the best example of how they’ll photograph any eyesore and publish any tosh in the U.S of A. (However, I will give you credit for naming your tripe ‘Camels’-you do resemble one). I know it’s cyberworld and ugly lumps like you have the run of the mill there, but kindly stop fouling the air up further. No one gives a fig.”
-Blue Skies
bittersweetmemories04@gmail.com
IP: 63.194.178.25
To start with, who is photographing me in the first place, I dare ask you, Blue Skies (awesome name, by the way, so sagacious! so manly!)? (I mean, other than the covers I’ve shot for Penthouse, Time and Vogue, of course – what can I say, I have an eclectic portfolio?) All of the photos you see here are simply published ON MY BLOG, in my little corner of cyberspace where “any eyesore” can score airtime. Last time I checked “the U.S of A” doesn’t own the rights to the Internet, nor were they plastering my “ugly lumps” on every newspaper stand from Seattle to Miami. I could be wrong. I don’t really get out that much.
And then, a camel, really? That’s the best you could do? How original! Considering there are quite a few dromedaries gracing my webpage design, it must have taken you AGES to come up with that easy comparison! Welcome to the second grade, Blue Skies, I’m sure you’ll find yourself right at home! From someone with such intellectual depth as yourself, I might expect troll, goblin, even hippo or rhinoceros, but I find it quite complimentary being compared to that of one of my favorite animals. Was it the one hump in between my eyes that gave me away (that would be by nose)? Or my lovely lady lumps that led you to such a scholarly conclusion? But seriously, thanks! Have you seen the set of gams on a camel lately? Smokin’!
My immediate reaction was to delete the comment (but not before signing Blue Skies up for loads of free porn) — out of sight, out of mind, you know. SVV encourages that behavior, saying “tis such a sweet nectar of retaliation than indifference.” Normally, I would agree. But that Blue Skies is just such the clever comedian, and I’m not one to deprive you loyal visitors of a rare laugh! (Plus, I have a slight penchant for passive-aggressive drama.)
Another one that popped up from an ancient post on my old blogspot account last week read:
“Your post has nothing to do with the reality. I don.t know which country you.ve seen, but i. m certain it wasn.t Romania. If it was, then all I can say is that you are not supperficial, not ellusive, not confuse, but simply mentally underdevelopped”
-Anon
Anonymous, of course, because most haters don’t have the balls to publish their e-mail addys and websites. I might add, this was on a positive VACATION RECAP I wrote about how much I loved Romania when SVV and I visited three years ago. Though note to those who plan on following Anon’s suit: It is a tad bit hard to take someone seriously who calls you “mentally underdevelopped” when that person has four glaring spelling errors in a mere sentence. You’d think if you were going to tear someone apart on a public forum, you’d at least utilize spellcheck. And don’t even get me started on punctuation.
I’ll admit there are plenty of bloggers out there whom I don’t particularly care for either (none of you, of course). But I would never lower my integrity enough to say so on their website (besides, it’s just plain rude; that’s their little spot on the web, they can do with it what they like). I don’t fault anyone for disliking me; heck, if we were to switch places, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t like me either. It’s a free country (and Internet), and anyone with a cable connection can publish their thoughts to its vastness. I purposely choose not to discuss politics or religion or anything else of a controversial nature here, because while I admire those who do, I like to keep this a bright-and-shiny place, an escape from all the politics and global events that already pervade the Internet.
Here’s the part where I insert how much Blue Skies’ life in the UK (judging based on syntax alone) must suck (it is overcast and dreary much of the year, I can’t blame him/her from suffering from seasonal affective disorder), and how he/she likely just envies my awesome job, awesome boyfriend, awesome friends and all-around awesome life in San Francisco. But I’m a bit tired and don’t feel like permeating this space with anymore negativity than already exists from the preceding grafs. In essence, if you don’t like me, I’ll point you to the door (or rather your computer’s homepage icon). It really couldn’t be any simpler than that!
Well, I suppose I should just shut up now, as “no one gives a fig” anyhow. But now, if no one gave a fig (by the way, are we talking about the fruit? because I stand perplexed), then why do you suppose Blue Skies is so preoccupied with my “fouling the air up?”
How about all of you out there? What’s the most ill-mannered comment you’ve received on your site? Come on, post them, it will be fun — sort of like disinfecting your soul, purging your blog of any hate that remains! Consider it a karmic cleanse — on the house, of course, because we’re all about pro-bono work here at C&C.
Wow. I’m stunned, actually, that somebody could write that about you. You’re gorgeous and have very interesting things to say actually! Then again, I kind of consider the hatemailers to be a rite of passage… a mark of bloggy success, if you will. Like how celebrities know they’ve made it if they’re accused of either being pregnant when they’re not, gay when they’re not, married when they’re not, or getting divorced when they’re not.
I, however, have not “made it” yet. No crazy hatemail comments yet. But I can dream…
I’m glad that you are not letting those “tough guys” sitting around in their drawers talking shit on the internet get you down! My boyfriend has written a blog for four years. Below is one of his more recent pieces of hatemail. It is truly, utterly awful and disgusting. Enjoy!
——— Forwarded message ———-
From: Randall Matthews
Date: Mon, Jul 21, 2008 at 3:22 PM
Subject: coffee idiot
To: andiamnotlying@gmail.com
Simmermoron, you have issues beyond issues. You are obviously high on the list of the worlds most obnoxious ASSHOLES.
I have always theorized that most bloggers were wannabe normal people that were so insecure that they felt the need to type useless bullshit on blog sites.
You have strongly reinforced that theory, LOSER.
Please, please, get yourself neutered before you accidentally breed more little ASSHOLES. Remember, rape is illegal, so the only way you could get near ANY human female is a no-no. And try as you might, I’m fairly sure that fucking goats in the ass will not provide you with a visit from the stork. On the other hand, a few years as BUBBA’S bitch in the slammer might improve your attitude….and with any kind of luck, he would strangle you to death for yappin’ your stupid mouth while he rammed it to you.
Cheers
aww you have a troll. that means youve arrived donchyaknow.
It never ceases to amaze me how all the trolls I’ve ever encountered don’t know a damn thing about the English language. Seriously, it’s hard to take anyone seriously when their spelling rivals a toddler’s.
Ugh! That’s crap. It really is amazing what people will say when sheltered by the anonymity of the internet! (Though I tend to think that the folks who leave messages like that are mean, nasty, little people in real life, too).
I’ve never gotten a negative comment on my blog, mostly I suspect because I have about 4 readers for any given post. Jerks like this only want to attack people who are popular, I think!
Two come to mind:
In one post I relayed what I thought was a hilarious story about a big diesel truck rolling up to a bike cruiser event (everyone on bikes except this big old truck – funny, right?), to which the head of the bike group wrote one of the snottiest comments ever, personally attacking ME…um, when I had actually written MY BIKE.
In another post I was visiting Kansas City and I wrote about how I thought it was a rather lame city, to which a Kansas City resident commented about how much I sucked AND the city in which I live…I live in DENVER, I mean, we all know Denver way cooler than Kansas City…ha ha.
I have gotten some like the ones above too, and they are always from foreigners!
HAHAHA: “Or my lovely lady lumps that led you to such a scholarly conclusion?” HAHAHA. That made me laugh out loud. You’re totally right: With their curves and legs that don’t quit, a camel is pretty much the perfect woman.
Oh, there are jerks out there. Dumb, bored, boring jerks. I’m going to dig up my meanest comment for fun. I’ll be back…
ooh, what other fun stuff can we do with blue skies’ email and IP addresses??
Damn, I can’t find the really nasty one I was thinking of. There are plenty of passive-aggressive, snarky comments. And several weird ones from people asking me to post more photos of my hands and would I mind measuring them from wrist to tip and sharing the measurement on my blog? (I would. Mind, that is.)
Know how you REALLY piss the Internet off? Write about crack whores. Go on, I dare you.
Number one, with technology, there is NO SUCH THING as anonymous anymore.
Two, Anonymous commenting is the most cowardly act of all. If you want to share you opinion, have the balls to share your name! My opinion, of course.
P.S. My third favorite is when people set up an account simply so they can comment on people’s blogs, but they keep it private to where nobody can read it. My blog is currently private, but will be so only for a short while for reasons I gave to my readers. You’ve been to my profile before so I am sure you can vouch for me not being a whack-a-doodle.
1. I LOVE that you published their email address and IP.
2. You crack me up!
3. My worst troll told me that I was insecure. Looked up the IP and it was a “good” friend of mine. Awesome.
Delurking to say that I really enjoy your site! I’m a fellow travel-addict and am always curious to see where you’re heading next! I don’t have a blog and therefore feel strange about entering into an online “conversation” a lot of the time (I realize that people feel more comfortable when they can read a little about who they are talking to either in comments or in emails). But, having said that, I would feel even more strangely about attacking another person in this way especially because I don’t have a blog of my own. Seems so cowardly.
What a nasty remark to leave on your fabulous site. Good for you for standing up to them!
I get TONS of hatemail. Most about how self-centered I am. It’s way fun!
I hate blue skies.
Like Laura said, in a way, it kind of represents your success as a blogger. I only just got my first troll and it was in response to an image. The title of my post was, “don’t forget to vote today” and then I had an image of Obama – no words in the entire post. I got a pretty in depth overview of why voting for him would be a bad idea, but in the end, the joke was on him. My bf, who is also a blogger, stepped in with a pretty intelligent response to him, so that was good. That was my first controversial comment though. And like you, I try to keep things light, if you couldn’t tell.
You are beautiful, you are fabulous, you are extremely intellectual and intelligent and the only way I know all of those things, is through your blog. And did I say that I hate blue skies? Because I do, I hate blue skies.
i usually ignore them. (BUT i’ll make an acception THIS time because it’s fun) tis such a sweet nectar of retaliation that indifference..
ANDif said douche had the balls to say it in my presence they’d wilt at the sheer weight of my anger. start quivering and squirt yellow fluid into their likely shit-stained underwear. and then they’d punch themselves in the mouth, bite off a small piece of tongue and apologize.
mmmmwwwwaaa! and bee tee dub, your readers are rockin’. susan, hating on blue skies is brilliant.
Must be someone with a dismal life.
By the way, nice photos of golden leaves. It reminded me of Kentucky and how much I enjoyed the leaves but hated the month and half of solid leaf raking.
This is just ridiculous that some people feel as though being toxic is a good use of their time.
All I have to say is if you don’t like the website, don’t read it anymore! Why do people feel like they need to make horrible comments if they don’t like something? I just don’t get it.
Blue skies is an idiot. The only weird comment I got on an old blog said: “You don’t have a clue about anything” Since it was on blogger I couldn’t find out who sent it, IP address, nothing. To hell with them Kristin, I love your blog. Keep it up.
IMO, if someone has the time to continue to read and then write mean things about a person/blog they don’t like, they must have a pretty lame life!!
And I am a dork for using “IMO”
Seriously, the fact that these butt tards come out of the woodwork long enough just to say something hurtful says a lot about how sad and pathetic their lives are.
Blue skies is a dilltardish dumbf*ck.
Wow that’s so mean! On behalf of my fellow countrymen and the UK in general I would like to apologise for Blue Skies general arsey-ness, and reassure you that this British reader loves your blog and your photos!
Let’s hear it for thick skin!
THICK SKIN
THICK SKIN
THICK SKIN
Don’t let the haters get you down.
I went un-moderated for approximately 80 hours.
And then someone posted, “There is something wrong with a mother who talks about other people’s children.”
So it’s moderated again because that just flipped my bitch-switch.
A) Of course there is something wrong with me…helllloooo….did you SEE the name of my blog?
B) I did not post pictures of the offending jerk-hole kid, name names, or even mention the quadrant of the universe this weasle offspring lives.
C) Anonymous posts just PISS ME OFF. If you want to say it, then own it.
Spam the ever-loving crap out of BS….weird how his/her/it’s initials stand for something so appropo.
Wow, what a bunch of crap. I wonder who these people are and what went wrong in their lives… Oh my. I haven’t had a nasty comment yet. Not sure, if I am looking forward to one though.
I had a comment recently on a post I had written about good things coming to those who wait – in regards to meeting “THE ONE” at my advancing age (HA)! Anyway, the commenter said “This is totally bullshit”
Um, okay. You’re right, being happy is totally bullshit.
Oy, I will never understand mean people. Why, just why, with the snarkiness? I’ve only had one mean comment (knock on wood) and believe it or not, it was from one of Jon’s asshole friends, whom we no longer speak to.
I think you’re fabulous, honey.
I like you. Your clothes. Your hair. Your blog. In fact, I think the world wants us to be friends!:) If we who take the time to blog are LAME, than what does that say about those who take the time to write negative comments (with quite creative lingo) on people’s blogs that they have no connection with…? Question to ponder Mr. Blue Skies.
I think you bear no resemblance to a camel…. and are in fact, quite cute!
I love it when bloggers call out the nasty commenters, it seems like a much healthier way to deal with the hate they’re spreading than simply to delete their poorly written and mean-spirited comments. Well done, dooce would be proud!