After mocking my lack of political adeptness (i.e. thinking Ben Affleck was endorsing a terrorist), I decided to make this Shameless Confession Wednesday semi-regular. So here goes, my biggest confession to date: I don’t like seafood. I just don’t. Never have, never will. This might not be such a problem if I were to, say, reside in Nebraska. But when you live on the tip of a peninsula and are engulfed in water, it’s like being a vegetarian and living on Antarctica. Every menu everywhere is ridden with those nasty, slimey creatures that come from the sea.
Some insist that my abhor exists because I hail from a landlocked state, but that’s simply not the case. My parents owned a place in Florida my entire life, so every Spring Break, summer and many long weekends were spent on the Gulf of Mexico. We always went to seafood restaurants like Harry T’s or The Back Porch where the only escape was to order chicken fingers and fries, which also isn’t my favorite of meals (not so big on the fried).
And it’s not like I haven’t tried. Oh Lord, I’ve tried. I’ve tried every form of underwater creature sufficiently prepared by hordes of celebrity chefs who can do no culinary wrong, and still, nothing. Actually, that’s not entirely true. One chef, Michael Mina, was able to make me completely forget what grazed my palate, but he’s a rare case.
I realize this is a problem what with my job and all–a big part of travel writing is restaurant reviews–and I realize you all probably loathe the fact that such fine food is wasted on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. I get it, trust me. I’d rather have a rosemary chicken and garlic mashed potatoes with summer squash than pancetta-wrapped prawns any day. And yet, I must buck up and eat that which I dislike for the sake of my job. All I have to say is at least dessert never contains fish.
In Sonoma two weeks ago, for example, we were having cocktails and appies with the wine alliance in the area, and a well-known chef was serving caviar creations. Now, normally I could politely decline and quietly continue to sip my wine, while everyone else noshed on the delicacy, were it not for the highly influential wine lady present, who was a bit drunk and kept shoving crackers of caviar in my mouth…literally. The way I see it is if you’re not a seafood person, you are definitely not going to be a fan of caviar. I was not wrong.
When I go on organized assignments and am asked of dietary restrictions, I’ve started saying I’m allergic to shellfish. Is that so bad? I’m not, but it’s easier than explaining, no, I’d just much rather have a hamburger than mahi mahi, thank you very much. I hate how I’m always made to feel The Guilt just because there’s one sect of food for which I happen to not care. I don’t make others feel guilty if they don’t like chocolate, even though that is one thing I cannot for the life of me understand…OK, maybe I do, bad example. But as Lemon pointed out, “You shouldn’t feel bad that you don’t like something that costs $80 a pop (lobster).” Touche. Actually, when the two of us were on our Romantic Maine Getaway this exact time last year, we didn’t see anyway around not sampling one of Portland’s staples: the lobster roll. So despite the fact that neither of us are keen on lobster, we ordered one. One look at the claw pitifully reaching up to us, and we threw it out and just ate the roll.
I think what it boils down to is I’m a texture eater. I actually love tuna salad because the tuna is cooked and in a semi-solid form. I don’t like shrimp, caviar and many other slimey underwater things because they’re gummy. And I just don’t do gummy. It’s all psychological; it’s not necessarily the taste I can’t get past, but how it feels in my mouth. While cooked fish isn’t the worse thing in the world, I would never order it on my own volition when placed face-to-face with some sort of game. And after many (read: hundreds of) failed attempts, I don’t see this as anything I’m going to get past anytime soon.
How about you guys–seafood: take it or leave it? Are there other foods you don’t like for which people try to give you the guilt trip?
I would gladly give up all other proteins to live on seafood daily. And there isn’t much that I won’t at least try once. But I don’t do chitterlings or hog’s head cheese.
Since becoming pregnant, seafood makes me want to kill myself. I used to love it, but these days I wonder if I’ll ever look at a piece of fish again. (HORK)
Amen sistah! Crabs are spiders of the sea. Do you WANT to eat spiders? Nuh-uh.
I love Tuna…but will NOT touch anything else remotely sea-foody. Weird. Now that I think about it that makes almost no sense….Tuna is fishy. But SO GOOD. Mixed with mayo…diced cheese, green onions….mmmmmm.
I convinced myself and a great many people around me that I was allergic to shell fish. To the point of telling the hospital staff that and having them screen medications. 10 years I went on thinking that….all because my throat got a little scratchy when I was eating prawns at a German place while I was pregnant with daughter. Finally got tested last year and NADDA. I’m not allergic to anything. I still put it out there though – it’s a tiny white lie. There is nothing saying you MIGHT NOT be allergic at some point in the future. Maybe. It’s a possibility right?
I don’t eat seafood at all, and I get a lot of grief for it! My husband actually doesn’t eat it either, but that doesn’t stop people from offering us shrimp/oysters/clams over and over ang over again, even when they know we don’t eat it. We were in Newport, RI for a weekend recently and felt a little bit badly that all of the fresh seafood around was just wasted on us…but we still happily ordered sandwiches and chicken and burgers at every restaurant!
Yuck, I hate seafood too! WHy would I want to eat food that taste like a warf smells? When people give me a hard time, and I am feeling cranky, I will say “I think I know me more than you do but thanks”
I love seafood. I like it cooked, raw, & everywhere in between. I get the texture thing though. My weird food thing is tomatoes. I like things made with & that feature tomatoes like salsa, ketchup, marinara, tomato soup, pico de gallo, etc. But, put a tomato in my salad & I won’t eat it. Put it on my sandwich & I’ll pull it off. The taste is ok, but it’s the gooey seeds that really gross me out.
I love seafood, but I’m not that big a fan of beef. I rarely ever eat hamburgers (turkey burgers, though, are delicious). So it looks like we’re opposite.
However, I can’t cut up peppers or cantaloupe. All those little seeds clustered together like that? Oh my god, it horrifies me. Gives me the shivers. Weird?
Hey, I hate bananas, so I hear you. It’s America’s favorite fruit and people sneak it into everything: bread, cocktails, pancakes…I feel like I’ve spent a good portion of my life either dodging bananas or explaining why I hate them.
But I love seafood. Granted, even I don’t eat caviar. That’s some hardcore stuff, but I love seafood and I hate tuna in a can. It’s like the un-seafood seafood.
Hmmm, yeah, I don’t like bananas either! The texture! YUCK! I don’t mind the flavor, but just can’t handle eating them straight up and mushy-like.
I do, however, like seafood…yummmmers
Also don’t like: sweets. Seriously. People always think I don’t eat them because I am dieting or whatever, but I seriously do not care much for cakes, pies, cookies, muffins, any baked goods. I can do ice cream, in small doses. I know, I am a joy to be around during the holidays!
Just give me some wine and cheese and I’m good!
I’m not into the slimy things – clams, oysters, mussels, but I like crab and lobster in butter. I think fish is good – but it mostly comes down to how/with what it is prepared, to determine how much I like it.
i’m not a fan of shrimp either – although I had to eat a prawn in Cyprus because seriously, it was the biggest I had EVER seen! FYI – the size did not really improve the taste.
What I don’t like? Eggs. I hate them more that anything!
My god, another texture eater! My wife is the same way and I could never understand it…so, my wife really isn’t insane after all? There are more of YOU out there? (With sarcasm, of course.)
I HATE seafood and people try to guilt me all the time. I tell them to suck it. Then I tell them they can have mine.
I love me some seafood. BUT I HATE CHEESE. Let me tell you of the mocking and rude comments I get….they are plentiful.
ADORE seafood. When you said lobster roll, I started slobbering all over my keyboard. Yes, it was attractive.
But I’m not a fan of spaghetti. I love all other forms of pasta, which is essentially spaghetti in a slightly different shape or diameter, but I just don’t like it.
I’m with you! I live in Florida and everywhere I go here I’m deflecting seafood to others…just don’t care for it. I have tried everything, and the only thing that I wasn’t COMPLETELY appalled by was some kind of sushi, but it was covered in sauce.
If only I could just travel with you to eat all the seafood you don’t want. That would be lovely.
I actually love seafood. I would eat it in a box, I would eat it with a fox. You get the idea. I love it in all ways and would eat it everyday.
I used to only eat steamed crabs (I’m a Maryland girl, so it’s the law), but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to like fish and shrimp and other seafood. Well, as long as I can’t see it’s head!!
Totally with you on this, I hate seafood and have never eaten it, as the smell alone is enough to put me off.
And when I finally did have to eat some Coquilles St Jacques at a New Years Eve party a couple of years ago I found out the hard way that I do have a genuine seafood allergy. All those years I thought I was a fussy eater, and then I find out it’s my bodys way of keeping me from 48h vomiting sessions! :0 )
So I say, definitely rock the seafood allergy, there’s nothing worse than being forced to eat something you really hate just because some dogooder thinks you should!
Um, yeah, seafood rules. I don’t get people who don’t like it. Sorry! My boyfriend doesn’t like some things that I love and it’s painful, among them: cheese (unless it’s the melted on a pizza variety), olives, coffee, sundried tomatoes. Why why why?
Ummm, I despise seafood as well – maybe it runs in the family?!? Except I’m the only Housholder that doesn’t like it…. Glad I can safely go to a seafood restaurant with you and order chicken fingers or a garden salad because “I’m just really not that hungry.” NOT!!!