I Do, the Seuss Way

It would appear that this blog will no longer follow chronological order. But as ADD as I am, that’s perfectly fine with me.

Back in August, I made California trip number three of the summer to be Scott’s date to his sister Lisa’s wedding. It was the perfect wedding – in a lush, shaded outdoor area just outside of Sac on a gorgeous summer day, no more than 80 guests in attendance, a beautiful espresso-and-lilac color scheme and an eight-minute ceremony at most.

Vanessa (Scott’s brother Jim’s wife) opened the ceremony with a too-cute poem from The Velveteen Rabbit. Then, the bridesmaids, in their gorgeous brown dresses Scott’s mom HAND-MADE and cute little Chinese-style parasols, came down the aisle, following Scott’s niece Kiva, who is without a doubt the most adorable three year old I know. THEN, and this is my favorite part, SCOTT PERFORMED THE CEREMONY. Yes, my very boyfriend was deputized by San Mateo County to be a swami (or whatever you want to call it). Joan even made him a vestament for authenticity.

But, without a doubt, my favorite part of the shindig were Chris’ Seussian vows (written by Marty Blase).

Scott (Pastor): Will you answer me right now

These questions, as your wedding vow?

Chris (Groom): Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Scott: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Chris: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I’ll love her all my life.

Scott: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Chris: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Scott: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you’re happy or sad?

Chris: Yes, I’ll love through good and bad,
Whether we’re happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife! 

Scott: Will you love her if you’re rich?
Or if you’re poor, and in a ditch?

Chris: Yes, I’ll love her if we’re rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I’ll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Scott: Will you love her when you’re fit,
And also when you’re feeling sick?

Chris: Yes, I’ll love her when we’re fit,
And when we’re hurt, and when we’re sick,
And I will love her when we’re rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Scott: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Chris: Yes, I’ll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we’re rich,
And when we’re broke and in a ditch,
And when we’re fit, and when we’re sick,
(Oh, CAN’T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I’ll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Scott: Then if you’ll take her as your wife,
And if you’ll love her all your life,
And if you’ll have, and if you’ll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you’ll love through good and bad,
And whether you’re happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you’re poor, and when in wealth,
And if you’ll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you’ll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Scott and Chris: I DO!

Scott: You’re married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

Now, in my humble opinion, that’s how a wedding should be done.